Categories of Students at a Typical JAMB Examination Centre

Visit a JAMB examination centre and you’re likely to encounter students that fall under most if not all of the categories listed here. A single student could even belong to two or more of the categories.

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1. The Ones who came to Slay: These ones come to the examination hall looking like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine. They show up looking flashy and fully made up. Designer shoes, bags and watches. No books in sight.

2. “The Eficos”(Bro. Sabino and Sis. Sabina): These ones know the entire syllabus. They know the recurrent questions from 1988 till date. They know the part of the syllabus that’s almost always overlooked. “Almost” because those questions were set only
twice in the last ten years. They show up with one book containing jottings from the four subjects they registered. They’re ready for their answers to serve as marking schemes for the examiners.

3. The Ones with the I-don’t-care attitude: They show up with their exam slips, bubble gum(in their mouth), and ear piece plugged in. They roll their eyes occasionally at the “eficos”. They can be heard on phone saying: “Ehn, I don dey there. I no know why them dey waste time. Make dem let person do this thing, commot for here. I get better things to do.”

4. The Chatterboxes: These ones came to gist. They just talk about anything. From Buhari’s health to their principal’s dress sense, to what they had for breakfast, to who’s dating who in their school. The list is endless. Most of the time, they are “lucky” to have one or two schoolmates posted to the same centre as they. These schoolmates serve as their gossip partners.

5. The “Ajebutters”: These ones do not come on their own. Someone comes to drop them off. They do not have to stand in the sun like the others. They stay in the car until it’s time for them to go in to the hall. A lunch bag can be seen on the backseat of the car.

6. The Ones who have Written the Exam too Many Times: They arrive late. They aren’t really bothered about anything. They’re completely disillusioned. They can be heard saying “Forget all these things wey una dey do. Na negative marking dem dey do. No be by reading, na by luck. Nobody read pass me that last two years jamb. That last year wey I no too read, na im I pass pass sef”.

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